Exams are sure a pain in the neck.
Two extra pimples appeared on my face due to the stress, haha >.<
Well it's the exams after all.
Well don't think I would do well this MYE, I'm ready to face the music from my parents.
Guess that I'm really not ready yet...
Don't want to talk about how I did for MYE papers...
But due to this situation I put myself into, I did some soul searching...
So it's so called "emo" time...

Have been thinking about so many things again, hey that's me...
That's one of my problems as well, I get so hook up on my own thoughts that I drive myself crazy. Ha ha
*Sigh*
Well, I notice that there are many ups and downs that I've gone through before, and it's always the downs that really made me give up hope all the time... It's not that I want it or something... it just happen.
I have many dreams and goals that have not been fulfilled yet...
It's just that there's this irritating wall in front of me that blocks my path...
It was built by all of my negative thoughts, the pain things I've gone through... the memories that I've not let go yet...
There are people who encourages me to move on, to stay strong, to believe in myself, I appreciate them so much, and I thank them a lot. If it wasn't for them to stand by my side, I would have fall.
The sweetest songs are the ones which has the saddest thoughts... and that is so true. Take Ayumi Hamasaki's song "Together When..." I've read the lyrics and it's heart breaking. Another example is Rihhan's song "Take A Bow" It is about her caughting her lover cheating...
I've blogged so many of my own thoughts and how I've mess my life up and rebuilding it up and failing it again time after time.
Guess that I've screw my life up before and now I'm putting the pieces back together again like a puzzle, It takes lots of patients and time.
Oh well, like what people said, I hold the key to my own life, I create my own story, It's my choice of how I want to be, only I choose my own life, I'm the only one who stands in the way blocking my own path.
It's me who I fear the most, because I'm afraid to be the person that I want to be, I fear to take up challenges, I fear to try, to ask, to want, to dream. I fear to fear.
I made myself to fear, to lose courage, to be weak, to fear the mistakes I've made or to fear to make the mistakes...
And I ...........

It's just that..............

Life is changing, and I don't want to face that fact somehow due to somethings in life...
OMG someone slap me now.

Just that I've just to face it, and really stay positive no matter what.
ermm examples:
Someone I like likes another? As long he's happy, I glad and all I can do is just to stand a side and pray for him to live life well.
Or My parents scolds the hell out of me, I have to accept it and to just blame it on myself, learn the mistakes, to understand why and really try harder for myself... they care for me after all.

I'm not saying that I've to be a stone, to endure everything at one go, I will let it out once in a while, take it as a remember why I'm here for. And just keep moving forward....
I will move forward, to be a better person, to overcome my fears.
To Love my life. To care for myself and allow myself to build up.

♥ みちよ