•くらやみ • S Ë C R Ë † • {If you could live forever, what would you live for?}

In my world it's different.

思いもよらない夢を
なぜだろう
見てる　毎日
君のことはもう
忘れたはずなのに
この胸に止めどなく溢れてく

君のすべてを誰よりも　そう
こんなに想っているのに
また今日もひとり目が覚めたなら
叶わない夢　知りながら
君に　溺れてく

今夜眠りにつく頃　そっと
私の夢で会いに来て
数えきれない夜をそう君と
過ごせたなら　もう何も
いらなかったのに...

会いたい　会えない
気持ちと　現実が
目の前が滲み歪んで見えるよ
どうかお願い　もう泣かないで
心迷ってしまうけど

† あたし †

. Beatrice .
. Michiyo .
. LEO .

♥ Music & Art
♥ Fasion Design

My other sites =D
My Deviantart [3eatrice]
My Tumblr [3eatrice]

† ゆめ †

Get into NAFA.
Do well for DBA.
Get a Grand Piano.
Learn how to drive.
Create a Master Piece.

Sunday, April 15, 2007 /11:10 AM

Okay, I have a life, and I do complain about somethings about my life too ... Sometimes I don't even know how to handle the problems myself and thus causing myself to go crazy and worse, depression.
Can't say more about my sister, sometimes she is just out of hand. Due to my very bad past experiences, I don't want her to suffer what I had suffered. I went through at least 3-4 years of living hell ...
The years before ...
Failed all subjects in Primary 5
Went to EM3 in Primary 6, regretted and studied like hell.
Manage to pass but because of my "Damn" Chinese I went to Normal Technical stream ...
continued to study like hell
Now I'm finally in the Normal Academic stream ...
Got to know many different kinds of people, some good and bad ...
Arabelle is getting far to disrespectful and ill discipline. She is starting to be one of those girls who don't even bother about life and there future. She takes helpful advices and turn them into rubbish, taking things for gaunted and loves to gossip about others even her friends.
Is she the girl whom I still know before or is she like her other friends who are so spoiled that they don't even listen to their siblings and parents .. and yes she can be so disrespectful even to my parents, but not my Father of course, if she was ... she would be dead right now.

In the evening someone called back home and asked to bring an umbrella because it was raining, Arabelle told me and I heard it was my Mum and so I waited at the bus-stop, saw my brother coming back home, and I continued to wait for my Mum for at least 1 hour and 30 minutes, I was actually wasting my precious time, my mum did not appear at all. Kind of disappointed ... Got back home then and later found out that the call was actually from my Brother. Oh GOSH ... because I forgotten to bring my Hand phone, I was unable to call back home to make sure. The problem here now is, why no one went to fetch me back ... My time went to waste ... I told that to Arabelle and she said to me that I was deaf, WHAT kind of attitude was that!

I have no more to say about her ... I think I'll give up and surrender soon if this carries on ...
My soul is gone ...

♥ みちよ

Saturday, April 14, 2007 /1:57 PM

Today is our School's Annual Sports Day! Came home late at 8pm, my Mum and Dad went out and Brother was not back yet. Left my auntie and sister, kind of isolated. Videoed the whole programme and now my arm, back and legs are aching. I'm so done with videoing next year, need to rest and slack next year, getting tired of it even though I like to do videoing ... Videoed in the rain too, lucky for me, the video camera did not spoil if not I'll be in big trouble. Well at least Zyann, Jolin and I had our so called "little picnic" at the site.

Let me see ...

April-May Mid-term Examinations
July Piano Practical Examinations
July Final date line for my "N" Level Art Coursework
Sep Piano Theory Examinations
Sep - Oct "N" Level Examinations

Okay everything is planned out and now it's time to study hard for it! But there is one problem, I'm tired ... so I need to go to bed for now ... too sleepy to continue n_n zzz ... Ja Ne, Oyasumi Nasai ...

♥ みちよ

Thursday, April 12, 2007 /11:15 AM

Ended school at 6PM plus today ... I'm so exhausted and bored to death. I had to stay back for the Prize Rehearsal together with Zyann. Got back home at around 6.50PM and just finished showering.
The teachers in school are going crazy over us, the noisy students ... okay at least 20% are good. I just can't seem to understand why pupils just can't shut their mouths even they are told to do so. Aren't they tired of talking at all? I mean it does takes energy to talk and why waste so much breath to do so ... Sometimes I find it tiring to even open my mouth. Don't pupils have any respect at all, do they preform like hooligans if they were in the Parliament?
Hurry up! 1 more year to go and I'm out of Secondary school ! I'm tired of it, why can't it be my last year this year, so disappointed in myself ... sometimes ...
Oh well can't turn back now, gotta keep moving forward ...
Got to go and continue with my Chemistry notes now, Ja Ne!

♥ みちよ

Monday, April 9, 2007 /2:05 PM

Arabelle sure did had a great time with her friends today. Yup, today was her Birthday party! Finally my younger sister is 11 years-old but not mature enough yet, hahazz . . . I gave her present, the OP Sling Bag I bought for her.

I'm pretty tired after 6 pm, still gotta study for Physics test tomorrow. 19 more days to the mid-term Examinations. Ganbatte! Wanna do my best for these two more years in Secondary School, got to buck up in every subjects I have, my aim for the exams are getting 4 distinctions for 'N' & 'O' levels Examination ... I know it may sound a little too much, guess that I'm putting too much stress on myself... And maybe perhaps because of my parents, I don't want them to worry for me like before, so I must prove myself that I'm capable to handle things on my own in future. n_n

♥ みちよ

Saturday, April 7, 2007 /10:16 AM

Had a great time with Zyann yesterday. Thanks gal! Had dinner and later on watched a movie, Meet the Robinsons ... It's a nice movie, kind of funny too. Finally I bought the bag I wanted to give to my younger sister, hope she likes it. Taking some time to relax too, if not I'll become a robot in no time. Hahazz got to go now, will update more often when I got the time. Ja Ne!

♥ みちよ

Wednesday, April 4, 2007 /12:04 PM

Here is a picture of the CME project Zyann, Jolin and I had done. Cool isn't it? Well done girls! Our dolls will be display in the hall on Speech Day (20th April 2007) can't wait to see it again.

♥ みちよ

Tuesday, April 3, 2007 /8:22 PM

私の中心は傷つく, 私は好むかわ。。。

灰色の四角い空の下を今日もあらゆる欲望が埋め尽くすその中で光を見失わず前を向いて歩けるのはいつも君が
この街の片隅にも汚(けが)れのないものが残っている事教えてくれるから
疲れ果てた体で眠りについた君を僕は息をひそめて見ていた世界中でただひとり僕だけが知っている無防備で愛しい横顔
当たり前のように陽射しが降り注ぎ優しい風揺れたある日の事
僕の中で何かがそっと強く確かに変わって行くのをひとり感じていた
悲しくなんかないのに涙がこぼれたのは君の想いが痛いくらいに僕の胸の奥のキズ跡に染み込んで優しさに変えてくれたから
もしも君が深い悲しみに出会ったら僕にもわけてくれるといいなその笑顔のためなら何だって出来るだろう僕の大切な宝物僕の大切な宝物
No matter what, I will never let you go ...

♥ みちよ

/7:57 PM

25 more days to exams! oh man, got to start studying now, not much time left. Schooling is so frustrating right now. So tired, sleepy and too many activities. Feel like breaking down sometimes, just want to let everything go. Somehow, I don't even know what life is about anymore. People are getting irritating, ignoring, restless, rude, no self-respect or towards others and no sense of humour. People are starting to think highly of themselves, looking down on others, tell me, how worse can it get then this crazy world.
Once, I took a glance of my class, and told to myself, how many people I know now will be successful in life in 10 years down the road. Looking at the others worries me, especially those who I care more.

Just to fine the right happiness to share and to hold on forever ... So many things unknown but yet to be found, holding on to memories that was once lost and forgotten fragments of dreams flown away. No matter how much I try sometimes, I would just sink back down with a huge regret. Crying inside of me, craving for freedom, hidden behind darkness and sorrow.

Someone ... just someone ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

♥ みちよ